The big difference between meeting someone through "natural" circumstances and meeting someone through an on-line service, is the frequency in which you "meet" them. One thing remains the same...However you meet someone of interest and begin to court each other, when it comes to the third date, the truth comes out. In my experience, (always with the intention of finding "The One"), the third date always brings a warning. I've noticed that this phenomenon definitely increases in intensity with age, as people have gathered more experiences with past relationships/life and have labeled their personal baggage with little stickers that read "been there, done that". (I much prefer those whose baggage is covered with gobs of vintage travel stickers, but that's for another post)
For instance, in my 20's I might have heard on my third date: "Oh, by the way, I have to leave the US in about 6 months when my visa expires", but now in my 30's it can sound more like "Oh, and by the way, I'm still technically married" or "Oh, and I don't know if you want kids or anything, but, just so you know, I technically can't". And for some reason or another, this kind of information usually comes out on the THIRD DATE. OK, so it may be the second if you're lucky, or the fourth if you're less so, but let me tell you, you need to heed this warning, whatever it is.
If you're anything like me, you'll hear something that just might not sound right, but give the person the benefit of the doubt, thinking to yourself 'I can live with that'. I just urge you to really think about whether it's true, because what I've noticed is that what they warn you about on that third date, is what eventually will break up the relationship if either of you can't live with whatever "it" is...and it won't always be your decision. And then, you're just left there kicking yourself for having investing so much time in trying to make it work...and bruises can be SO unsightly...
Everyone's got their own experiences that make them unique. Everyone's got something. I call it all "part of my charm". But I don't think it's so bad as to scare away a potential mate, unless he always has to be on time...but I don't intend on dating a Dutch train, so I should be OK, right?
You've been warned...
I learned this the hard way in my past relationship but not without many life lessons learned. I'm older and wiser and hopefully I will remember these lessons and your wisdom to not make the same mistakes twice.
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